Just found this amazing little app called “Monster Meter" that lets you prove to your kids that there are no creatures in their closets. You just open it up, wave the sensor around and y-OH MY CHRIST MY HOUSE IS ABSOLUTELY INFESTED OH GOD
[Edit: SOME OF THEM HAVE WINGS WHY] [Edit: UNCLE MARTIN IS MADE OF FIRE TURN IT OFF] [Edit: SU ALMA ES NUESTRO]
“Be humble for you are made of dung. Be noble for you are made of stars.“ - Ancient Serbian proverb.
We are stardung, and we are dungdust. We are beautiful, bizarre and ridiculous. Precariously stacked, accidental atoms pretending to be people for a little while - and also I really don’t want to finish my taxes today because they’re so borringgggohhhhgodddddd-ahhhhh.
Good morning! I beat my own personal best at Galaga today - What do you think about THAT, child me, huh? Standing there with your little face and your child hair and relentlessly optimistic outlook on life, soul full of joy and care-free, butterfly-like existence? What do you think about THAT?
In case you’re wondering my personal best is now seven hundred million billion.
I just spent the last 20 minutes talking with the pest control guy about Portal 2 - Now we’re actual blood brothers he’s going to get rid of the secret bugs that the pest control people don’t tell you about. That’s what I’ve decided, anyway.
Smeagol (cat) comes and meows at me (human man) and does the legrub thing, so I follow her into the kitchen where she eats from her bowl. If I walk away she follows me and meows and legrubs until I walk back into the kitchen again. The reason for this is that Gozer (cat) is an absolute bastard and won’t let Smeags eat without tormenting her, so I have to stand guard so that Smeags can eat in peace.